David's Tribute

David gave the grandchild tribute to Grandma Shirley at the funeral today.  Here is a copy of his talk for our posterity:

I'm a little overwhelmed by this assignment to give a tribute to Grandma Shirley.  I doubt I can do her justice in five minutes, but I will do my best.

Ever since I was born we’ve had a tradition of visiting my grandparents on Sunday evening. I can remember walking into her kitchen through the garage door and calling out, “Hi Grandma, can we have a treat?” My mother was mortified. I couldn’t understand why my parents made a big deal about that, because, of course, Grandma always had a treat ready for us. That tradition of Sunday evening visits has continued through the years and provided a great sense of stability and continuity for me. Even during the period when I lived out of state, I could count on the fact that any visit home included a Sunday evening visit to Grandma and Grandpa Shirley’s house. I always felt a sense of belonging there. Now that I have children of my own, the tradition has become part of their lives, too. Over the past year those visits have transitioned to my parent’s home, so Grandma could have a break from being the hostess. Still, last Sunday my six year old asked, “Are we going visiting to Shirley’s tonight?” Grandma’s passing has left a void in our lives, but I am grateful for the gospel knowledge that the separation is temporary, and someday she and Grandpa will be part of our family gatherings again.

In preparing for this talk, I made a list of memories of Grandma. When I was done I realized that five of the first seven involved food. One of my earliest memories of her is when we were small and used to take turns sleeping over at their house. I could always count on her making pancakes shaped like snowmen for breakfast. She was a great cook, and I ate many Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners at her home. I can still see her bustling around the kitchen with that concerned look on her face, pulling a turkey out of the oven, or whipping mashed potatoes to perfection. She may have been worried, but we always knew that everything was going to turn out perfectly. Her orange rolls were a favorite of mine, and of course, her homemade ice cream.

Grandma had some little contradictions in her personality. She was a very social person who loved parties and family gatherings, but she never sought the spotlight. She kept her home spotlessly clean, and always had her hair perfectly done, but she didn’t need to show off in front of others. While she loved to talk, she didn’t need to dominate a conversation. She was always interested in what others had to say, and always grateful for any act of service done for her, no matter how small.

One of my memories of Grandma was a time when Grandpa went to LDS Hospital in Salt Lake City for heart surgery. There were complications and he ended up being there for an extended period. I was attending the University of Utah at the time, so I would try to go up and see them each day. Day after day I can remember seeing Grandma just sitting there waiting for Grandpa.  As we would talk, I would ask her if she wanted me to get her a book to read. She would say no, she didn’t really read much except the occasional church book. Did she want to find a place with a TV to watch? No, she didn’t really like to watch much TV. Did she want to go do something? No, she just wanted to wait there. She wanted to be there in case Grandpa needed her. It was at that time that I began to realize just how much she had dedicated her life to serving others.

Grandma Shirley has been one of the purest examples of Christ like love that I’ve ever seen. As you know her youngest daughter was handicapped. For 37 years Grandma cared for Joyce. In all that time, I never once heard her complain or act bitter or disappointed. My impression was that Grandma considered it a privilege to care for Joyce, and my Grandpa’s attitude was the same. I can remember walking in her kitchen and watching her patiently feed Joyce bite by bite. Grandma never made a big deal about it, but you could tell that Joyce was the center of her world. Later my Aunt Ann contracted multiple sclerosis. She ended up moving in with Grandma and Grandpa for a few years before finally ending up in the nursing home. It must have been over whelming for Grandma taking care of both of them, but still not a complaint. Just a quiet determination to take care of her children.

John 15:13 says, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” Grandma did not “lay down” her life, but she certainly "gave" her life in the service of her family. Personally, I think this last 18 months was been hard on her. Not necessarily because she was alone, but because she no longer had someone to care for on a daily basis. Grandma spent her whole life caring first for her children at home, then her energy focused on Joyce, then Joyce and Ann, and finally on Grandpa. When he was gone she no longer had a daily outlet for all that love and concern.

Grandma never attained a lot of wealth, fame, or worldly success, but she was successful at the things that really matter. I feel comfortable borrowing a phrase from the Doctrine and Covenants. She lived great and she died great in the eyes of God and her family. We love her, and we miss her. She set the bar of love and service high for us. I feel truly blessed to have had her as a grandmother. And, again, I am grateful for the gospel knowledge that that relationship does not have to end now that she is gone. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.