Tough Day

Saturday was a big, sad day for seven year old Alison.  It was the day she learned the truth about Christmas.  I know what you're thinking.  She's way to young!  You're right, but we couldn't help it.  This is Alison we're talking about.  She thinks so deeply all the time.  She has been asking questions for months and months now.  I have been trying to avoid it: changing the subject, asking her what she thought, being ambiguous, etc.  But David and I talked about it and we decided that if she really pushed us, we'd have to tell her the truth.  We can't lie to her.  How would she ever believe us when we tell her things that ARE true, like that Heavenly Father and Jesus are real.

So Saturday morning, I took Ali to the store to buy a birthday present for her friend.  On the way, she started asking "Do you buy my Christmas presents?"  She said she'd noticed that some of the stuff Santa gave her was sold at the store.  I tried to answer the best I could, but she kept asking more and more questions.  I told her we should talk about it some other time.  She said "Okay" but a few minutes later, she wanted to know again.  I said, "Ali, are you sure you really want to talk about this?  Are you sure you want to hear the answers?"  She said, "Mom, I just want to know the truth."  Well, there you have it - what could I do?

Let's just say that I had to pull the van over in an empty parking lot and hold my little girl while she sobbed for about 15 minutes.  Her heart was completely broken. So was mine, for that matter.  We talked about it some more.  She had a ton of questions about why we even have such a stupid tradition, and how everyone could be tricking their kids like that.  We reviewed many of the things I've said to her over the years to show that I never actually lied, I just said things like "Santa (Dad) is very cute and I really like him."  etc.  Once I told her that Dad and I knew she'd figure it out fast because she is such a smart girl, she felt a little better.  And we talked about how she had to help us keep the magic alive for her sister and brothers.  She eventually stopped crying, but it was a major blow to her day.

She told me later that she kept hoping she was dreaming and that she'd wake up soon.  It really was like a death or something to her.  She kept up a happy face all day, but any time she was alone with me, she had more questions.  "Do you think so-and-so knows?" etc.  Bless her sweet little broken heart. I love that girl so much.  Man, it's hard to watch your kids grow up!